Updated: Jul 17
How to have confidence when the scale tells you lies.
Recently, I have noticed many of my friends on social media posting about their frustrations with their weight and how it has completely made them feel ugly and worthless. Perhaps it's the fact that it is the summertime, and we tend to wear clothes that show our bodies more. Perhaps it's the fact that many of my friends have reached an age where our bodies are not cooperating with weight loss, as it once did. Or perhaps our society has created in us an idea of ideal beauty standards, that is unrealistic and unhealthy.
You may feel like you do not deserve to love yourself based on what society or your scales say. Sometimes when weight creeps on, it can make us feel less valuable or not attractive. While being healthy is important, part of that healthy is mental health, and finding the way to accept yourself and love and embrace how you look no matter what, which is the best type of healthy there is! In today's blog post, I'm going to give you a few tips on ways to remind yourself that you deserve self-love and acceptance, even if society or your standards say otherwise.
#1- FOCUS ON YOUR POSITIVE QUALITIES
Every single one of us has positive qualities, a purpose, and passions. Instead of focusing on your flaws, focus on what makes you special and unique. There is only ONE you. Write down all the things you love about yourself, no matter how small they seem. For example, on my worse feeling days, I have a list of my physical attributes I love about myself (I have my grandmother's cute nose, when I smile my whole face smiles, I have really nice teeth...I'd go on, but through the years, I really have added to this list and it's gotten long!) I also have a list of my characteristics I love about myself, (such as, I am a good listener and care about others, I am a loyal friend, I have a lot of patience...again, through the years, I have added so much to this list. The point is, you'll continue to add to your lists and realize that you are DANG AWESOME, Beautiful inside and out!) Look back at that list often, so you can re-train your brain to focus on things you love about yourself, rather than things you dislike. And by all means, keep adding to the list!
#2- EMBRACE BODY POSITIVITY
Body positivity is the idea that all bodies are beautiful, regardless of shape or size. Embrace the beauty you are and celebrate your body! Find gratitude for what your body is giving you, like the ability to go on a walk, or the strength to take care of your children. Wear clothes that make you feel good, take those selfies, and post them! (Now, if you've got haters that are going to bring you down, those people are NOT YOUR FRIENDS and you should not have them as friends, PERIOD.) Celebrate your body in all its glory!
#3- REMEMBER YOU ARE MADE IN HIS IMAGE
On my very worst down days (hey, we all feel it sometimes!), I remind myself that I was made in the image of GOD, and God does not make mistakes. When I look in the mirror, I focus on looking through the eyes of my Savior, because I am loved, NO MATTER WHAT. This allows me to change my perspective.
Additionally, I allow myself to remember what my children have told me..."Mama, you're the most beautiful princess in the world." Now, keep in mind, these are things said when they were little boys, as they are now 15 and 20 years old. But they still think their mama is beautiful, because it is more than outward beauty children see.
Take a moment and allow your perspective on your appearance to be changed when you look at yourself through the eyes of your Children or our Heavenly Father.
#4- SURROUND YOURSELF WITH POSITIVE PEOPLE
You'll begin to notice a theme of surrounding yourself with positive people throughout my blog posts. Why? Because as I tell my high school students and cheerleaders, "Sometimes your best friends are not the BEST friends." That's a hard lesson to learn, at any age. Think about it, people who truly love and care about you are going to raise you up, praise you, and celebrate you. Yet the people who point out your flaws, bring you down, or create negative feelings in you are not people who truly love you. And if you saw someone you cared about being brought down by someone else, what would you say to them? You'd say, "Surround yourself with positive people!"
Find the people who think you are a rock star, who cheer for you, and who see your beauty entirely.
#5- TAKE TIME TO FIND YOU TIME
Self-care is important for physical and mental health. It is also a crucial aspect of loving yourself. I used to make time for all my friends and family, my students, my career, but I never took time for ME. I put others in front of myself. And that's okay...but everything in moderation! When you take time for you, you are de-stressing (a key thing to do when struggling with weight, since stress causes cortisol and cortisol causes weigh gain.) Take the time to find things that relax you, like taking a walk, going to a yoga class, getting a massage. Also, make sure to get enough sleep (this is so incredibly important! Our bodies need time to re-boot, just like a computer!) Try to drink plenty of water and look for ways to incorporate a variety of whole food that are rich in vitamins and minerals. Need ideas or accountability to find positive ways to have healthy YOU time? I'd love to give you some free advice, just message email@example.com
#6- SEEK PROFESSIONAL HELP
If you are really struggling with self-love, there may be other things going on physically, or mentally, within your body that you will want to seek help for. Here at The Sisterhood Coaching, we will listen to your story, figure out your needs, and help you find the right direction. Perhaps you need a life/confidence coach to help you find the joy in all the your are! Or perhaps you are feeling depressed for longer than two weeks and you need to see your doctor or mental health professional. Sometimes it could be a medical condition that is preventing you from having the true energy to love yourself, despite your body and weight. Regardless, figuring out any issues you may have will help you develop a plan for self-love.
Loving yourself is essential, regardless of your weight, size, numbers on a scale. Society's standards on beauty and weight should never define how you feel about yourself. Focus on your positive qualities, embrace your body positivity, look at yourself in a different perspective, surround yourself with people who will raise you up, and take time for you, including seeking help if needed. Remember, you are perfect and beautiful just the way you are. You are worthy. You are wonderful.
If you have been struggling with loving yourself because of your weight, please give Coach Stacie and Coach Francie a call (or send a message!) We want you to know we, too, have felt this way, and are here to help you be the best version of yourself and to feel the best you possibly can!